Rick&Jerry
by HookahSocialism
Summary: Morty isn't avaliable so Rick takes Jerry with him on one of his adventures.


Rick opens the bathroom door.

"Morty! Y...you gotta come with me Morty! It...(belch) oh..."

Noone is there.

He opens Morty's bedroom door.

"Morty! It...its the council of Ricks. They (belch) the hell?"

He's not there either...

He opens the attic door figuring Morty went up there to hide and cry.

"Morty! I...if you wanna cry about something. Damn it where is that kid?"

As he climbs down Jerry says

"Looking for Morty Rick?"

Rick squints his eyes.

"I shoulda figured youd have something to do with this JERRY!"

"Morty is just being a normal boy. I signed him up for a two week free Bible camp study."

"Two weeks?! Jesus Jerry you've signed (belch) our death warrants! I...I cant fend off the council of Ricks by myself! I need Morty! Or atleast...A Morty..."

Rick whips out a weird looking cellphone with all sorts of lights on it and makes a call.

"Yeah Id like to order a Morty..."

"You know Rick, maybe if you gave me a chance you'd really like me..."

"Shutup Jerry! Yea I want a Morty with all his limbs and at least one eye... how much? Six corambulans?! What kind of Rickity Racket are you running here?!"

Rick hangs up.

"Change of plans Jerry...guess you're coming with me."

"See?! You know I've always wanted to travel! Maybe we'll see Paris...or Hawaii or..."

"We're going into the council of Ricks spaceship base to recover a fusion cell core they stole from me. That core (belch) produces a small I infinite energy Jerry...they could easily find rogue Ricks like me with it, blow up the planet, and move on."

"Lile that Freezypop guy from Morty's Dragonball Z cartoon! See I pay attention..."

Rick rolls his eyes.

"Sure Jerry..."

They go through a portal and and sneak past some Rick guards.

"Ok now be careful Jerry... normally a Rick wouldnt shoot a Morty. But a Jerry? Theyll twist your nipples off with rusty pliers just for shits and giggles!"

"Oh comeon. Youd never actually..."

Rick glares at Jerry.

"I'll be stealthy."

As they sneak past the guards Jerry suddenly sneezes.

"God damn it Jerry..."

"Hold it right there!"

As the Rick guards have out their guns one says:

"Wait...is that a (belch!) Jerry? Haha! Rick sector 5B3 you dirty rascal! You had us going!"

"No Rick even a rogue Rick would be dumb enough to take a JERRY with him!"

"Well kick this Jerry in the ribs for a while for our break while you guard the fuel cell core... but put back on your uniform."

"Oh...(belch) ok. Heheh you shoulda seen the look on your faces!"

The guards pull Jerry away.

"Rick...RICK!!!"

Rick makes a weird face than flails his arms and runs toward the fuel cell core.

He sees it and grabs for it. As he opens the portal he hearz Jerry crying about his ribs and the guard Ricks laugh.

Our Rick sighs and sneaks over to a corner. He uses the portal gun to drop both guard Ricks individually into places unknown.

"Comeon Jerry get up. We can pump you with deadly pharmacutical drugs later for the pain..."

As they drop through the portal and land on the couch Jerry woozily asks

"Maybe its just the fact im in such immense pain and about to collapse Rick but why did you say small I infinite?"

"Cause Jerry... small I infinite means a big fucking number but still feasible and within the realm of finite. Big I would break physics as we know it. I havent figured out the Big I yet. Unsure if I want too...could you imagine if (belch) the council or the galactic federation got such tech Jerry? Jerry?!"

Jerry is unconsciouss.

"You're an idiot Jerry..."

Meanwhile at Bible camp Morty is drawing up blueprints. The youth pastor looks over.

"What'cha doing there Morty?"

"Oh I...I hang around my grandpa Rick a lot and I keep having this dream about the God particle and so I've been making these drawings. See theres the big I which is next to me and the small i which is next to those ten Ricks."

"Thats very creative Morty! Science is all sorts of heresy and while we actively abhor it we dont mind the clean water it lets us drink or birth control it provides our slut daughters. So to encourage your dad to spend good money to take you to camp every year ill just say well done and hope our Bible sermons instill a twisted value system in you that fucks you up forever."

Morty smiles.


End file.
